When You Know You're Gonna Fail Your Exams
Heeeey so I should really be studying now, but me being me I thought, "nah. I'm too cool for that." So, well, here I am.
Tomorrow's gonna be my final - er, final. And guess which class it happens to be for?
That's right - the infamous Mr. Wilt's 6th period bio class.
Aaaaaaaaaa Uuuuuu Ggghhhhhh.
You know, I think the man's soul purpose in life is to just suck all the fun out in learning and instead vomit a bunch of information from the textbooks into quizzes. I swear, half of the problems on his tests don't even matter, like:
On page 386, what color was the picture of the monkey?
a. hot pink
b. brown
c. blue
d. pineapple
Correct answer? The pineapple - duh.
Our bio test is composed of 200 questions, all multiple choice. Most people out there are probably like, "phew, that's not too bad you know, you'll be fine."
But NO.
We're talking 200 questions in two hours. Two hours is 120 min. If you do the math....that's thirty freaking seconds per question.
*Sigh* see, I told you he's trying to kill us.
Because of Mr. "Grade Murderer" Wilt, I know exactly what to expect on a bad test. So let's just enter my mind for a second:
First of all, you start thinking about screwing up the test before the test. This could be a week before, the day before, heck, maybe even the hour before. But whenever the time, you can already imagine getting sweaty and nervous as you do the test.
When the time actually comes and you enter the classroom, immediately you're hit with a rush of distress, anxiety, and panic all rolled up into a giant snowball and thrown straight into your face. You get sweaty palms, the room becomes warmer, you start to bite your nails, so on and so on.
The teacher passes out the tests. Of course you're in the back of the class. By the time you get your test, it feels like everyone else is already on the second or third page.
You look at the first question
And immediately think, "yep. I'm screwed."
As you do the test, the most random and irrelevant thoughts pass through your head.
Why are oranges called oranges? In that case why isn't a grape "purple"? Or a banana "yellow". Wait, is a banana not yellow because that's racist? Wait, then why do we call an overripe banana "brown"? Isn't that racist? Who the heck names all these things? Is there like an official fruit namer?
Oh right focus on the Krebs Cycle stupid. Is it a, b, c, d, e....hey wait, why isn't there no f? Is it because they don't want kids to misinterpret it or something....
And so on and so on and so on.
As you're thinking about all this crap, you see someone stand up.
And turn in their paper.
You look down and you're only on page 2 of 8. That's when the "oh crap" moment hits and you start concentrating on these problems like your life depends on it.
After what seems like forever, you look up to see the time. And lo and behold, the bell rings in THREE MINUTES. Now you're really freaking out. Pencil lead is just flying here and there around you. You almost stab a hole through your paper from erasing. Originally you were gonna check over all your answers, but now you're like, "SCREW THAT I'ma just YOLO THIS CRAP".
Last question, you just close your eyes and and tell yourself,
Alright, now I haven't gotten the answer B in like six questions so this has to be B. Unless the teacher's just trying to trick us...in that case it must be A. But then...you know what, screw it. I'm gonna put C even if I got like 4 C's in a row before this question.
Aaaaand you're finished.
This is just me guys: as I walk to the front with my paper in one hand, I have the wedding march song going off in my head, except the words are "Here comes the F....Here comes the F...."
As you walk to put your paper down, you have just a slight glance over at the person on top's paper and sorta just compare it with your own. If it's smart person's paper and you're answers seem to match up, you're just like "yess...at least 2 of em match up." But then if it's the class idiot's and you guys have perfectly synced answers...time to look up how long summer school is (jk you'll be fine).
Once it's done, what's the first thing you do? You pull out a textbook and start reviewing the HECK out of everything that was on the test. At times you're like, "oh thank the gods that's what I put." Other times...
You are internally screaming, thinking "I WAS GONNA PUT THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD I WANNA TAKE MY TEST BACK AND CHANGE IT AHHHHHH"
By the end of the day, you're at home, comforting yourself with netflix and ice cream, too tired to care anymore. After all, it's only one grade.
And that's basically my story for every one of Mr. Wilt's tests.
I'm sure a lot of you guys can relate to this really well.
Well, either way, I wish you guys the best of luck on your finals and any future tests.
Actually I just realized half of you guys might as well be on winter break right now, so....good luck on any future tests only for you lucky people.
If I forgot to mention anything else about test drama, make sure to comment about it. Also don't forget to share this so others can also relate to this miserable truth!
Happy Holidays Reader!
:)))
Tomorrow's gonna be my final - er, final. And guess which class it happens to be for?
That's right - the infamous Mr. Wilt's 6th period bio class.
Aaaaaaaaaa Uuuuuu Ggghhhhhh.
You know, I think the man's soul purpose in life is to just suck all the fun out in learning and instead vomit a bunch of information from the textbooks into quizzes. I swear, half of the problems on his tests don't even matter, like:
On page 386, what color was the picture of the monkey?
a. hot pink
b. brown
c. blue
d. pineapple
Correct answer? The pineapple - duh.
Our bio test is composed of 200 questions, all multiple choice. Most people out there are probably like, "phew, that's not too bad you know, you'll be fine."
But NO.
We're talking 200 questions in two hours. Two hours is 120 min. If you do the math....that's thirty freaking seconds per question.
*Sigh* see, I told you he's trying to kill us.
Because of Mr. "Grade Murderer" Wilt, I know exactly what to expect on a bad test. So let's just enter my mind for a second:
First of all, you start thinking about screwing up the test before the test. This could be a week before, the day before, heck, maybe even the hour before. But whenever the time, you can already imagine getting sweaty and nervous as you do the test.
When the time actually comes and you enter the classroom, immediately you're hit with a rush of distress, anxiety, and panic all rolled up into a giant snowball and thrown straight into your face. You get sweaty palms, the room becomes warmer, you start to bite your nails, so on and so on.
The teacher passes out the tests. Of course you're in the back of the class. By the time you get your test, it feels like everyone else is already on the second or third page.
You look at the first question
And immediately think, "yep. I'm screwed."
As you do the test, the most random and irrelevant thoughts pass through your head.
Why are oranges called oranges? In that case why isn't a grape "purple"? Or a banana "yellow". Wait, is a banana not yellow because that's racist? Wait, then why do we call an overripe banana "brown"? Isn't that racist? Who the heck names all these things? Is there like an official fruit namer?
Oh right focus on the Krebs Cycle stupid. Is it a, b, c, d, e....hey wait, why isn't there no f? Is it because they don't want kids to misinterpret it or something....
And so on and so on and so on.
As you're thinking about all this crap, you see someone stand up.
And turn in their paper.
You look down and you're only on page 2 of 8. That's when the "oh crap" moment hits and you start concentrating on these problems like your life depends on it.
After what seems like forever, you look up to see the time. And lo and behold, the bell rings in THREE MINUTES. Now you're really freaking out. Pencil lead is just flying here and there around you. You almost stab a hole through your paper from erasing. Originally you were gonna check over all your answers, but now you're like, "SCREW THAT I'ma just YOLO THIS CRAP".
Last question, you just close your eyes and and tell yourself,
Alright, now I haven't gotten the answer B in like six questions so this has to be B. Unless the teacher's just trying to trick us...in that case it must be A. But then...you know what, screw it. I'm gonna put C even if I got like 4 C's in a row before this question.
Aaaaand you're finished.
This is just me guys: as I walk to the front with my paper in one hand, I have the wedding march song going off in my head, except the words are "Here comes the F....Here comes the F...."
As you walk to put your paper down, you have just a slight glance over at the person on top's paper and sorta just compare it with your own. If it's smart person's paper and you're answers seem to match up, you're just like "yess...at least 2 of em match up." But then if it's the class idiot's and you guys have perfectly synced answers...time to look up how long summer school is (jk you'll be fine).
Once it's done, what's the first thing you do? You pull out a textbook and start reviewing the HECK out of everything that was on the test. At times you're like, "oh thank the gods that's what I put." Other times...
You are internally screaming, thinking "I WAS GONNA PUT THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD I WANNA TAKE MY TEST BACK AND CHANGE IT AHHHHHH"
By the end of the day, you're at home, comforting yourself with netflix and ice cream, too tired to care anymore. After all, it's only one grade.
And that's basically my story for every one of Mr. Wilt's tests.
I'm sure a lot of you guys can relate to this really well.
Well, either way, I wish you guys the best of luck on your finals and any future tests.
Actually I just realized half of you guys might as well be on winter break right now, so....good luck on any future tests only for you lucky people.
If I forgot to mention anything else about test drama, make sure to comment about it. Also don't forget to share this so others can also relate to this miserable truth!
Happy Holidays Reader!
:)))
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