"New Year, New Me"...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's hilarious

Well, will you look at that...

The last day of 2017.

Well, actually it depends on where you're from, of course. Like, say you're in China or India, well New Year's already over for you guys. To those people who already opened the champagne bottles...well, have fun destroying 2018, guys. 

Speaking of New Years, we all know that it's usually the time where people make their resolutions as well. The whole "New Year, New Me" crap. Which to me doesn't really make any sense to me. 

Do you seriously have to wait the Earth to be one year older so you can change for the better? I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with making a resolution on like, say May 4. 

Actually, wouldn't it make the most sense to just make your resolutions on your birthday? I think people just wait till January the first to change themselves just because it's too much of a hassle. 

Like, let's say on the fine July 22th, you think, "Oh, I should probably try to become more healthy by exercising more and eating less doughnuts." But who on earth would actually want to that right away? (Besides the actually competent people who can actually wake up at six in the morning to jog...) 

No no no no no you'll start missing your doughnuts. It's really too fast to give them up. Besides, you think you're beautiful just the way you are. So what do you do? "Oh I'll just make that my New Year's Resolution." Thus you grant yourself a good five more months to do whatever you want. End of story.

Actually, now that I think of it, people probably make resolutions on New Year's because it's like, such a huge day. I mean, there's not much pressure to follow your goals when you make it on a totally random day. But that transition from 2017 to 2018 is so big, you feel you have to change with it or something. Like, it's such an auspicious day, you really can't do anything about it. You have to follow your goals. 

Have I ever made a resolution?

The straight answer? Uhhhhh..........no.

So technically speaking, I have no right to speak about keeping resolutions....

But OH WELL I don't really care. 

Actually, I've made resolutions before, but they were always purposely stupid ones. Such as:

Next year...

I'm gonna make a resolution for New Year's Eve.

I'm gonna stay fourteen.

I'm gonna make sure everyone else keeps their resolutions.

I'm gonna break all my resolutions

I'm gonna help everyone else break their resolutions.

I'm gonna piss off my friends more than usual.

I'm not making a resolution, 'cause I'm already awesome.

You see what I do?

The most hilarious thing is, ninety percent of all resolutions made around are dropped within the month of January. Actually, the world is happiest in the month of January, because it's the time where people are trying to keep their resolutions of "being a nicer person" or "helping the world" or something else. 

I think that once a resolution's made, you go one of three ways: 

1. You procrastinate your goals. The first week of January, you're like, "Oh it's ok I'll take it easy this week and do it the week after." When week two comes around, you think "Well, it seems a bit too early to start, so I'll wait next week," And so on until one day you're just like, "Yeaahhh no it's way too late to actually do anything anymore I'll just wait till next year.

2. You keep your word and go on a freaking power mode where you do whatever your trying to accomplish really well. Like, say you promised you'd go to the gym more, you go twice every day for a week. But eventually you get pooped of doing this, and slowly your workouts decay until you stop and start eating Cheetos in front of the TV again. 

3. You actually keep your goal, and FOLLOW it. And to you people, good job, I applaud for you. Also, you must be something besides human, because most of us humans are waaaay too lazy to actually care about ourselves or anyone or anything else. Just...good job.

Ok, I'll be honest, it's really hard for me to believe there are people who are actually #3. But that doesn't mean they don't exist.

Anyways, good luck everyone with 2018. Let's hope Trump doesn't destroy anything during that time, and let's not let him destroy anything either. 

I hope you survive this year better than you did 2017.

Have fun, and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!!!

:)