Contact Me People I'm Lonely!!!

If you guys have any questions or comments, feel free to email me!

So if you're some long lost friend of mine who just happened to find this page...well, CONGRATULATIONS now you can contact me.

Feel free to boost my ego by writing some nice comments to me too. I want to feel smug at the moment.

But if there are any problems or other things you don't like about my work, email me about that too!

Please please please do not spam me..if anything seems to shady, I will NOT respond and WILL block you. For example, don't ask me for money.  Or try to make me buy a free sloth with sunglasses. I'm not gonna buy it. Actually, I got a spam recently, and I thought it was hilarious because I can't believe they expected me to actually listen to them.

For example, A dear message from dear old little Mrs. Susan Read....

Email Title: Can I Trust You My Friend?

Dear Beloved Friend ,

 

Greetings. Please let this not sound strange to you because I am not asking you of money, for my only surviving lawyer who would have done this died early this year. I prayed and got your email address from your country's guest book which I have been with my late husband and I wish to visit once more if God will in his infinite mercies grant me. In function of your good profile, I want to solicit your assistance in the discharge of my will. I am Mrs. Susan Read from London and am aged 65 years suffering from endometrial cancer. Please, I want you to help me create a charitable project with the money that I inherited from my deceased husband who died in a motor accident.  I was brought up from a motherless baby's home and was married to my late husband for twenty nine years without a child.

 

My friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness and I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them anymore, so I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of 9m Pounds with my bank. All I need is an honest person who will use at least %60 of the funds as I instructed, then the rest %40 will go to you for helping me accomplish this mission because donating this money to charity is the only legacy I can leave behind after my death. No money is required from you to carry on with this project because it is my heart desire to make a generous gift to you to work for a charity in your country, I don't mind if you are a Christian or Muslim, but I don't know if I can trust you because there are greedy and fraudulent people over the world. I will give you more details as soon as I hear from you.

 

Looking forward for your urgent response.

 

Regards.

Ok, first of all, come ON. She (or he) doesn't even know my NAME, much less "pray to god and get my email address". Why the heck would you trust someone you don't even know with money? You WON'T. Also, no one talks this much about death via email. NO ONE. And I know for a fact that the "I'll give you my money part" is the BIGGEST scam. Why? Because in order to deposit this "money", this sweet old lady's gonna need your credit card number and be able to access your bank account...

Do you really think she's not gonna take all your money you've now revealed? You really think she wants you to have her made up dollar bills?

NO.

Which is why this is all so STUPID. And HILARIOUS.

Now, if this is actually an actual old lady who's asking for help from me...no offense, but you can die while being buried in your money. 'Cause NO ONE'S THAT GULLIBLE.

Not even me.

(Don't worry guys it's really not an old lady 'cause the email was like "WWw."@image.ocn.ne.jp ) And it was in my spam folder. Veeeery trustworthy.)

Actually, I'm quite stupid, which I proved when I met this old lady at the police station...

Actually, I'll save that story for another post :)

The sad thing is, people actually fall for these. Pretty darn often too. So many people have stripped off all the money they have and left empty handed. It's (usually) not even their faults!

Oh, the horrors in this world.

But I don't think you're that stupid reader. And I'm not that stupid, either.

Email me. Keep me company. Be my friend. But don't kill my email with spam.

Don't be the stupid old lady faker.

I have trust in you, reader. USE THE POWER YOU HOLD WISELY.